101 Funny Cow Jokes To A Moooo Se You

Maybe it’s not polite to tell jokes about cows, but hey—if they hear you, just say you’re laughing with them, not at them. Surely these majestic beasts have tough skin. Errr…thick hides. These cow jokes are udderly hilarious, and they can be enjoyed by the whole family since they are good, clean humor—no one will have any beef with that! Be sure to milk this list of cow jokes for all it’s worth.

Cow Jokes

1. Why are cows such great dancers? They have all the best moooves!
2. What did the cow tell the butcher? Please stop, or else we’re gonna have some beef.
3. Where would you find a cow who’s having a really bad day? At McDonalds.
4. What is a cow’s favorite newspaper? The Daily Moos.
5. What did the mommy cow say to the baby cow? It’s pasture bedtime!
6. What’s an unusual way to make a milkshake? Give a cold cow a pogo stick.
7. What would you get if you cross an angry sheep and a grumpy cow? An animal that’s totally in a baaaaaad moooood.
8. Why do cows wear bells around their necks? Their horns don’t work. 10. What do you call a momma cow who’s just given birth? Decalfinated.
9. What do you call a group of cows with a sense of humor? Laughing stock.
10. Where did the cow spend all its money? At the cow-sino.
11. What would you get if you milked a really forgetful cow? Milk of Amnesia.
12. Why won’t cows join the police force? Tthey refuse to participate in steak-outs.
13. What do you call a rude cow? Beef jerky.
14. Why couldn’t the two cows get along? Because they had beef with one another.
15. What would you call a cow wearing armor? Sir Loin.
16. Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the udder side.
17. What do you call a scared cow? A cow-ard.
18. Where would you find a cow with no legs? Right where you left it.
19. Why don’t cows have money? Because the farmers keep draining them dry.
20. How did the farmer find his lost cow? He tractor down!
21. Why did the cow jump over the moon? He thought the mooooon was calling to him.
22. How do cows introduce their wives? Hey guys! Meat Patty. 25. Where do cows usually go on a Saturday night? To the moovies!
23. What would feed a bratty cow? Spoiled milk.
24. What did one cow say to the other on a cold night? “I don’t really know about you but I’m Fresian”.
25. What do you call a cow after an earthquake? A milkshake.
26. Why did the farmer stop making cow jokes? He kept butchering every one.
27. What do you use to count cows? A cow-culator.
28. What do you call a magic cow? Moo-dini.
29. What happened when the cow ran into the fence? It was udderly destructed.
30. What do cows put on french toast? Mooooolasses.
31. How does lady gaga usually like her steak? Raw, raw, raw, raw, raw!
32. What do you call a sleeping cow? A bull-dozer.
33. What do you call a cow that can’t produce milk? An udder failure.
34. What did the cow say when the farmer pulled its tail? How diary!
35. What do you call a cow that blends in with its surroundings? Cow-moo-flauged.
36. What is a cow’s favorite magazine? Moogue.
37. When one cow said “Mooo!” to the other, what was the second cow’s reply? “I was going to say that!”.
38. Why did the farmer buy a brown cow? He wanted chocolate milk!
39. What did the cow say to its therapist? “I feel seen, but not herd.”
40. What would happen if you tried talking to a cow? Everything would just go in one ear and out the udder.
41. Why did the artist love painting cows? He said they were his moos. 45. Why does a milking stool only have three legs? Because the cow has the udder.
42. What do you get when you cross a cow and a rooster? Roost beef.
43. Where do cow farts come from? Their dairy-ère.
44. What kind of lunch meat do cows like best? A bull-ogna.
45. Why do cows stay close together when it’s cold out? To keep each udder warm!
46. Who’s in charge of the dairy operations? The cow-ptain.
47. Can you make money owning cows? Yes, I’ve herd it’s really profitable.
48. What did the cow say when the bull broke up with her? Without you, I’ll never be whole milk again!
49. What animal goes “oom, oom”? A cow walking backwards.
50. What is a cow’s dream job? Being an udder cover agent.
51. What do cows say when they hear a bad joke? “I am not amoosed.”
52. What is a cow’s favorite color? Marooooooon.
53. How would you address the queen of cows? Your Moojesty.
54. Why do cows want to see Times Square? Because it’s in Moo York City.
55. What did the cow say before making a risky poker bet? The steaks have never been higher.
56. What song do cows love to sing? I’ve got the mooooves like Jagger.
57. What do you a hurt cow? Ow.
58. What do you call a cruel cow? A de-moooon.
59. Why are cows always telling each other jokes? To keep themselves amoosed!
60. What do you call a cow on a diet? Lean beef. 65. Why do cow have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose.
61. What did the cows do after someone broke into the barn? They beefed up their security.
62. Why is telling a cow a funny cow joke pointless? They’ve probably herd it before.
63. Where do Russian cows come from? Mos-cow
64. Where do cows get their medicine? At the farm-acy.
65. Where do young cows eat lunch? At the calf-eteria.
66. What happens when a cow has PMS? It gets moo-dy.
67. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
68. What math problems do cows like to solve? Moo-tiplication problems.
69. What do you call a cow that eats grass? A lawn-mooer.
70. What did the police cow say to the bad guy he caught? Don’t mooooooove a moo-scle.
71. How do you make Swiss cheese? Using milk from a holey cow.
72. What did the cow shout when it did a cannonball into the swimming pool? “Cow-abunga!”
73. Where do cows go on their days off? To a moo-seum.
74. What did the cow say about the farmer’s bad outfit? That outfit is so bad it’s laugha-bull.
75. Why do cows huddle together when it rains? To keep each udder dry.
76. Why is it so hard to hurt a cow’s feelings? Their hides are so thick.
77. What did one cow asked its friend? “Got milk?”
78. Why do cows like to go to the spa? To get some re-hoove-ination.
79. What do cows say when they apologize to one another? Sorry, I made a mis-steak. 85. What is a cow’s favorite subject in school? Cowculus.
80. What did the farmer say to lazy the cow? Just give me 2% milk.
81. When is milk the freshest? When it’s still in the cow!
82. Why did the calf cry at school? There was a bully there.
83. What did the cow say when someone told her a lie? Sounds like a lot of bull to me.
84. What type of camera do cows use? Cow-non.
85. What is a cow’s favorite movie series? Steer Wars.
86. What is the best way to get a cow to be quiet? Just press the moo-te button.
87. When you cross a smurf with a cow, what do you get? Blue cheese.
88. When you cross two ducks and a cow, what do you get? Quackers and milk.
89. What did Donald Trump tell the cow? That’s fake moos!
90. What do cows do when they go skiing? Moo-guls
91. Why do cows work? To make mooooney
92. What is as big as a cow but weighs nothing? His shadow.
93. What happens when cows stop shaving? They grow moostaches.
94. Why did the cow look so confused? He was having deja moo. Check out…200+ Jokes for Kids101 Clean Jokes100 Best Dad Jokes101 Funny One-Liners101 Funny Puns