So if your current repertoire of Halloween puns and costume puns isn’t up to snuff, don’t give everyone a fright by sharing your dreadful tricks anyway. This year, step up your haunting game and give these 75 howl-arious Halloween jokes and puns a whirl instead.
Halloween Puns
- Who did Dracula take to the school dance? His ghoul friend.
- What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? A neck-tarine!
- Did you get to meet the tallest vampire in the world? People call him Count Everest.
- What do mummies like listening to on Halloween? Wrap music!
- Why do vampires need mouthwash? They have bat breath!
- What do you call a haunted chicken? A poultry-geist!
- What is the skeleton’s funniest bone? Its humerus.
- What do vegan zombies eat? GRAAAAAAAAAINS.
- Why are all mummies workaholics? They’re afraid to unwind.
- Why won’t vampires prey on snowmen? They’ll get frostbite.
- What do you get when you divide your jack-o’-lantern’s circumference by its diameter? Pumpkin-Pie!
- What did the skeleton say to the gathering of ghosts when he revealed that he has not been tricked? I can see right through you!
- Which ghost is the best dancer? The Boogie Man!
- Why don’t ghouls like lentils? They prefer human-beans.
- How did the great pumpkin fix his jeans? With a pumpkin patch.
- What is a skeleton’s favorite instrument? The Xlylo-bone!
- Why do spirits have low self-esteem? They have no body to love! 18. Why did the witch look so angry? She has a resting witch face!
- Why do they put fences around graveyards? Because people are dying to get in!
- Why did the Vampire read The New York Times? He heard it had great circulation.
- What is a ghost’s favorite band? The Grateful Dead.
- How can you tell if a vampire has been to a bakery recently? All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly doughnuts. 23. Where do ghosts like to go swimming? Lake Erie.
- The maker of this product does not want it. The buyer does not use it. And the user does not see it. What is it? A coffin. 25. What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert? I scream.
Halloween Costume Puns
- How do spiders communicate? Through the word wide web!
- What can you say about a terrible mummy joke? It Sphinx!
- Who’s the world’s best skeleton detective? Sherlock Bones!
- What do you call a skeleton who refuses to help you clean? Lazy bones.
- What was the witch’s favorite subject in school? Spelling.
- What kind of mistakes do ghosts make? Boo boos.
- What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash!
- Where did the mommy ghost take the baby ghost? To the dayscare center.
- What did the skeleton bring to the potluck? Spare ribs.
- What kind of phone do witches use? A touch-toad phone.
- What do you say when you’re having dinner with a skeleton? Bone appetit!
- Where does a ghost go on vacation? Mali-boo!
- Why did the police officer write the ghost a ticket on Halloween? It didn’t have a haunting license!
- Why are skeletons always so calm? Nothing gets under their skin.
- Why should you always trust a mummy with your secrets? They can keep anything under wraps. 41. What did the werewolf eat right after he got his teeth cleaned? The dentist.
- What do ghosts eat for supper? Spooketi.
- What did one confident ghost say to the other? If you’ve got it, haunt it.
- Why are vampires so good at baseball? They bring their own bats.
- How do vampires get around on Halloween? On blood vessels.
- What do you call a witch’s garage? A broom closet.
- Why do girl ghosts go on diets? So they can keep their ghoulish figures.
- What part of the street do vampires live on? The dead end! 49. When is it bad luck to see a black cat headed toward you? When you’re a mouse.
- What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire? It’s a pain in the neck.
Funny Halloween Puns
- What should you eat at a baseball game on Halloween? A frakenfurter!
- What do skeletons like to do on the weekend? They love binge-watching their favorite shows on the skele-vision!
- Why couldn’t the ghost see its mom and dad? Because they were Trans-Parents!
- What plants like Halloween the most? Bam-BOO!
- How are witches able to stay so positive? Witch-ful thinking!
- What did the vampire say after he graduated college? Fangs for the memories.
- What are a ghost’s favorite ride at the fair? The Scary-Go-Round!
- Why did the horseman from Sleepy Hollow go to business school? He wanted to get a head in life.
- Why did the ghost go to the bar? To get some boos.
- Want to know what you’ll find on a haunted beach? A Sand-witch!
- What do you call a cleaning skeleton? The Grim-Sweeper.
- What is a goblin’s favorite cheese? Monster-ella.
- What is a vampire’s favorite dance? The Fang-o. 64. What do birds give out on Halloween? Tweets.
- What did the zombie say after his friend told him a few cheesy jokes? Haha, these are killing me! 66. What is a vampire’s favorite type of dog? A bloodhound.
- What do you call two witches living together? Broommates.
- Why does Dracula love going to the circus? He loves the Juggler!
- What happens when a ghost blows its nose? He gets rid of all his boo-gers.
- Why was the ghost sad on Valentine’s Day? He couldn’t find a boo! 71. Why did the scarecrow get a promotion?He was outstanding in his field.
- Why don’t mummies take time off? They’re afraid to unwind.
- Why are ghosts so happy when they’re in an elevator? It lifts their spirits.
- What do ghosts use to wash their hair with? Sham-boo! 75. What kind of key does a ghost use to unlock the house? A spoo-key. Check out… 100 Halloween Dad Jokes10 Funny Halloween Pranks55 Funny Halloween Instagram Captions
