According to a survey by Nolo.com, most divorces take about a year from start to finish. If the divorce proceedings go to trial, it typically takes a year and a half to get a divorce. “If you can get it done within six months, then that would be considered a very quick divorce,” says relationship expert Lauren Peacock, author of Female. Likes Cheese. Comes with Dog.: Stories About Divorce, Dating, and Saying “I Do"and the creator of The Divorce Case subscription box. But the truth is, there’s no one-size-fits-all answer—divorce experts say it really depends on the circumstances. Divorce lawyer and founder of Getting Past Your Breakup, Susan Elliott, J.D.,M.Ed., says, “I’ve been involved, as both a lawyer and as a divorce coach, with clients who take almost no time and ones that drag it out forever,” Elliott says. “It depends on how many issues are involved.” Peacock adds: “How long a divorce process takes depends on whether you have children, on how invested you are monetary/how intertwined your assets are, as well as a number of other factors.” Some common issues that come up during the divorce process:
Parental responsibilities, like custody and a parental visiting planProperty division, like how to split up financial assets and real estateChild support, like how a child’s medical expenses will be coveredSpousal maintenance also called alimony
“The length of the divorce process can vary greatly depending on which process choice the parties are engaged in and what they are in disagreement about,” says Jacqueline Newman, lawyer and managing partner of Berkman, Bottger, Newman & Schein LLP. To give you a sense of the extremes, “I have seen divorces take a few months to over 10 years,” Newman says. If you want to avoid a lengthy court process, trying one of these alternative divorce processes can speed things up:
Mediated divorceCollaborative divorceDivorce arbitration
How to Speed Up the Divorce Process
Fortunately, there are ways to make your divorce process go faster—and make coming to a settlement easier:
- Distance yourself. “If you can remove yourself physically from your partner’s presence and find your own space during the process, that is probably the healthiest mental choice,” Peacock says.
- Establish boundaries with family members. “Keeping your family separate from your choices in your divorce is crucial,” Peacock says. “As helpful as they may want to be, you know what’s in your best interest for your future better than anyone else does.”
- Let the little things go. “Don’t sweat the small stuff,” Peacock says. A lot of emotional and logistical challenges are headed your way throughout the divorce process, so make things easier on yourself and “pick your battles carefully to win the war,” Peacock says.
- Try mediation, rather than going to court. “Mediation can speed up the process, but only if both parties are willing to work with the mediator and come to the best and quickest conclusion,” Elliot says. Check out…15 Signs You’re Falling Out of Love12 Things You Should Never Say to Your Partner4 Top Predictors of Divorce
